A Different Light
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgements
About The Author
Readers May Also Like
morningstar.ashley.author@gmail.com
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgements
About The Author
Readers May Also Like
A Different Light
Copyright © 2017 by Morningstar Ashley
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means – by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise – without prior written permission, except in the case of the brief quotations embodied in the critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
Published by Morningstar Ashley
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All products and/or brand names mentioned are registered trademarks of their respective holders/companies.
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First Edition, July 2017
To my husband. My best friend. My heart.
Your understanding when I need time in my own world, your ability to put my broken pieces back together with just a hug, your talent to hush my stupid overthinking brain, your belief in me when I have none left, your absolute support in this journey, has meant more to me than I could ever express.
No matter how far away you are from me every day, you are always in my heart.
12 Years Earlier
Bennett
Bennett was probably ready for tomorrow’s test, but that was never a reason not to study. He’d do well, but studying made him do better. Better was always the goal. Who wouldn’t want to do better?
Just then, he heard a motor revving up.
Mac.
Of course.
Why on earth would the guy be doing that shit now? It was late. Okay, not late, late. But, come on! It was late enough that revving the motor on that piece of crap motorcycle his uncle gave him a couple of weeks ago was not ideal.
People didn’t want to hear that.
He paused while reading his notes, waiting to see if the noise would continue. And of course, it did. Mac was an asshole. Never cared about others, but for some reason, stuck his nose in Bennett’s business all the damn time.
Bennett had his window open since it was such a nice night out and hearing nature always helped him study better, focus more on the words, and not get distracted. And yeah, he could close it, and it might help dampen the stupid revving but, why should he?
Mac should be the one to stop.
Another five minutes and it was still going. There was no way he could study that way. How long could it possibly go on? Not that Bennett knew anything about motors or motorcycles, but it couldn’t possibly be that hard to fix the stupid machine.
The sound finally stopped, and for one brief second, Bennett sighed, ready to get back to his studying when the motor noise started again. What the everloving hell?
Now he was mad. There was no way he was going to let it continue. His window unluckily faced the side of Mac’s parents’ house where he’d started to work on his newest pet project. Bennett’s parents most likely wouldn’t hear the noise since their bedroom was on the opposite side of the house, and they never opened their windows.
Weird. But his parents were weird; so, whatever.
Making his way outside was easy. His parents had an enormous amount of trust in him since he never got into trouble. Bennett hadn’t ever thought of himself as a “good boy” as his Mom called him, just not stupid enough to sneak out of the house. School was much more important than screwing up his perfect record. He had goals to reach and messing that up at sixteen to do something that would hurt those chances was not going to happen.
He walked out of his house and to the right, crossing the yard to Mac’s house. Bennett stood there watching Mac crouched down by the bike, revving the motor and tinkering with something on the bike.
Mac was hot. He hated to admit that even to himself, but there was no way around it. Dark hair with magnetic light gray eyes combined with a lean build and the way he held himself had confidence oozing out of him even at sixteen.
Hot, but an asshole. One who never took anything seriously, including his grades at school, which Bennett was sure he was probably failing. He waited until the revving died down and Mac would be able to hear him speak.
Hands on his hips, Bennett yelled, "Quiet down. Can't you see how late it is?"
At the sound of his voice, Mac turned toward him with the motor still running. “What, did I interrupt your beauty sleep, Princess?"
Bennett hated when Mac called him that. He started a couple of months back. Bennett still wasn’t sure if he’d been saying it because he was gay a
nd Mac was a homophobe, or something else. But he hated it. “No, asshole, I'm trying to study. You might want to try it sometime.”
Mac, still wearing that smirk like he always did, replied, “That's alright, the good boy has to be perfect. You can live your life in books. I'll live mine out in the real world.”
“You're sixteen, so stop acting like your life is so great.” Bennett turned to go back to his house, done with the conversation and the idiot he had it with.
“I wouldn't dare!” Bennett stopped and looked back at Mac to see his hand on his chest, his eyes wide, and hearing the sarcasm pouring out with the words. “I'd have to be you for that, right?”
“What is your problem with me, Mac? I've tried being nice to you—"
“Man, I'd hate to see how you treat your friends if you think you've been nice to me. Don't you worry your pretty little head about me. And stop thinking that everyone loves you, because they don't. Especially not me. Now leave me alone.” With that Mac, turned his back on him. Probably proud he had the last word.
“Whatever, asshole.”
Bennett walked back to his house grumbling the whole way. Mac always pushed his buttons. Every single one. And that was both good and bad. The only guy he thought was hot after he finally had come out was the biggest asshole Bennett had ever known.
11 Years Earlier
Mac had planned on taking his bike for a ride, but his parents said he needed to study more. So, now he was sitting on his front porch, on his Mom’s favorite porch swing that she rarely sat in, with a book in his lap. Not doing much with the book, but it was there.
Mac liked sitting outside day or night. The sounds of nature all around him. Making him feel alone, solitary, like he was the only one around. Less noise that way. Better than hearing his parents bitch yet again.
Why can’t you make nicer friends?”
“Mac, you need to apply yourself more.”
“Can’t you be more like Bennett.”
Oh yes, because being himself wasn’t good enough for them.
That last one was the one that hurt the most. Mac understood his parents just had high expectations of him, wanted him to have a “good life” as they liked to say. But to be like someone else? Why can’t he just be himself? Fuck, it’s not like he got into trouble or beat people up like some bully. He had good grades. No, he wasn’t in all those fucking smarty classes that Bennett was in, like calculus. But Bennett was stupid where it counted.
Speak of the devil, here comes Mr. Perfect now.
Dressed as he always was in an untucked button up shirt, skinny jeans, and converse. His blonde hair was always all floppy, like it had a mind of its own.
Mac really wanted to run his hands through it.
Their houses were not so close that he had to interact with Bennett, but they were close enough that if he wanted to, Mac could give him a hard time.
And he always wanted to.
Bennett looked like he had gone grocery shopping inside his house for fuck's sake. And that told Mac all he needed to know about where he was going.
Getting up from the swing, he walked down the stairs and across Bennett’s lawn just as Bennett started down the path that led to the driveway. “Where are you going?” Mac questioned, knowing it would annoy the shit out of Bennett.
Bennett replied as he kept walking. “No place you need to know about.”
“You're bringing that to all those assholes, aren't you?”
Bennett sighed before replying, “Leave me alone. You're just jealous.” He stopped walking then and turned toward Mac.
“That's where you're wrong, Princess. Those guys aren't your friends. I have no need to be jealous of that.”
Bennett’s face was red, and his jaw clenched. “Stop calling me that! What do you know about having friends? You're too much of a cynical asshole for anyone to want to be your friend.”
“Do you know anything about them? Other than what you think you see, of course?” He was concerned. Bennett and Mac may not be friends, but those guys were pretenders preying on a naïve kid, and Mac knew it.
If he could only get Bennett to see it.
Bennett glared at him. “I know more than you. You say you aren’t jealous, but I know that’s what your problem is.” At that, Bennett turned toward his car, loading the bags in the back seat.
Mac growled, took a few steps toward Bennett. “You don't know anything about me.” The guy just wouldn’t open his eyes. Why did everything come back to Mac being jealous of him? Of course, it was how Bennett saw himself like he was somehow better than Mac because he was into all that science shit and everyone loved him.
“I know enough not to trust whatever you say.” Bennett climbed into his car, slamming the door before he drove away.
Mac was afraid of the day that those guys showed their true colors. How hurt Bennett would be.
He did like Bennett. It’s why he teased him. It wasn’t meant to come off as him being an ass, but sometimes, he couldn’t help the resentment he had toward the guy. Everyone loved Bennett and his own parents wanted him to be Bennett.
Mac cared, a lot. Who would’ve thought he’d be the one with the crush on the boy next door?
Maybe someday he’ll open his eyes.
Mumbling to himself, Mac replied, “I wish you'd listen for once.”
10 Years Earlier
All dressed and ready to go, he made his way downstairs, letting his parents know he was going out. Having to say nothing more than ‘Hanging with the guys’ to gain their approval, he grabbed his keys and walked out the door.
And, of course, Mac was there like he sensed that Bennett was leaving since it seemed he’d been making his way over here even before he opened the door to leave.
Two years had done a lot for the guy. Working on his bike, and whatever else he did in the empty shed on the back of their property, had given him some muscle. Mac was still lean and long, but now he had toned muscles that rippled on his arms and back whenever Bennett caught a glimpse of him outside, and shirtless.
Not that he looked…often.
Mac was still an asshole.
With his customary cocky smirk, Mac said, “Look at you, all dressed up for the party, Princess?”
“What do you know about the party?” Bennett asked because there was no way Mac was invited. They didn’t hang out with the same crowd.
“I know enough,” Mac replied, cryptically.
Whatever. Bennett wasn’t in a mood to puzzle out his words. “Maybe if you went, you'd actually make friends.”
Mac sighed. “Bennett, I have friends, just not fake ones like you have that use me for shit.”
Man, what is up with this guy? “You just can't let that go, can you?”
“What? You mean the truth? You shouldn't be so naïve, Bennett. Take off those blinders, Princess, and you'll see it too."
Bennett really hated that nickname, and he really hated that Mac never let that shit go. He’d been friends with these guys for over a year and nothing about what Mac said rang true. “Whatever. Maybe you should open your eyes and see not everyone's a douche.”
“Oh, you're right, not everyone is. You aren't, but those ‘friends’ of yours are. They'll show you, and you'll see. Then I get to say I told you so.” Mac said, with no hint of a smile on his face. If Bennett hadn’t known better, he would’ve said there had been concern.
But Bennett did know better.
“Believe whatever you want to believe, Mac. I'm going to go have fun with my friends.”
Derek had been their ride out to the woods where the party was taking place. Once they arrived, Bennett trailed after the guys as they walked around greeting friends and talking. Not many people talked to him, but that was okay. Most everyone at school was nice to him, maybe because he was friends with these guys.
Bonfires lit up the night, so standing in the middle of the dark woods didn’t feel as ominous as it could have. The trees were spread out there, so they had been able to fit in two
smaller bonfires with all the drinks set up in the middle of the two.
“Hey, Ben, you should have a drink. Loosen up some, man.” Bennett had been about to decline then the whole group of guys and girls had joined in chanting, “Drink! Drink! Drink!”
Derek handed him a plastic cup with a clear liquid. Bennett wasn’t sure what it was since he’d never had alcohol before, probably vodka though. That’s the clear one, right? It shouldn’t be too bad. One drink wouldn’t hurt him. He swallowed it quickly, the liquid burning as it traveled his esophagus. He coughed and wheezed while everyone laughed.
The next time it was Keith who handed him another shot, and Bennett hesitated. Another one? He probably shouldn’t. There were so many people here. Too many that he didn’t know. That was the rule, right. Don’t get drunk with strangers. But he wasn’t with strangers, he had these guys, and they wouldn’t let anything happen to him. He downed the shot that time, it went a bit smoother than the first. The next two were much easier. The more he drank, the better he felt.
Derek slapped his back, hard. “There you go, man. You’ll be having fun in no time.” Bennett was already feeling a bit warm and tingly all over. It wasn’t a bad feeling, almost like he imagined floating would feel. But drinking more might not be a good idea in his condition.
Bennett stood there staring out over the huge crowd of people milling and laughing, all of them drinking. He wanted to be more like them at that moment. Carefree and having fun.
Being a senior in high school and almost eighteen, that was what they all did. Why not do it too? He drank and milled around with the guys.
Things were getting a little out of focus, and after god knew how long, Bennett knew he had to excuse himself to piss. Tapping Derek, who stood closest to him, on the shoulder, he told him what he was going to do.
“Whatever, man.”
Bennett made his way through all the people, needing some damn privacy, trying to avoid bumping into them with what felt like jelly legs.
Finally, after a few minutes of walking, he reached a secluded spot behind a copse of trees where the light from the fire didn’t reach. Bennett had a moment of panic thinking he’d gone too far and wouldn’t find his way back, but it passed quickly when his bladder gave another thump telling him he needed to focus on that for now.